Libby’s Scribb1es

'Sup, Dudes!?

Technically, the release of Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones in 2002 is only part of Penny's reason for the $653 price. The other reason is that the movie's worldwide gross was $653,741,940, according to Wikipedia. (The amount is slightly different on other Wikipedia articles related to the topic—because Wikipedia—but that's the amount Penny went with.) While some uncultured people may think differently, I am glad that Penny has great taste and recognizes that Attack of the Clones is the best Star Wars movie, aside from Episode IV/Star Wars/A New Hope/the one that came out in 1977. (People are very opinionated about what you should call that one.)

Why is Episode II the second-best Star Wars film of all time, you ask? Well, even if you didn't ask, I'll tell you:

First of all, Attack of the Clones has all sorts of really great scenes, like the chase through Coruscant, Palpatine accepting emergency powers, the arena battle, the Kamino battle, Obi-Wan chasing the Slave I through the asteroid field, the stuff in the droid factory, and even that fireplace scene where Padmé's dressed all sexy while she tells Anakin how the two of them shouldn't be sexy together. Not only are the scenes good, but they're put together in a cool story, with three distinct plot threads, showing the political maneuvering on Coruscant, the romance developing between Anakin and Padmé, and Obi-Wan solving the mystery of the assassins, which leads to discovering the mystery of the Clone Army.

One of the things that's really great, though, is that even though Episode II is a prequel, several of these things won't be given away if you've seen the Original Trilogy first. It's also just really cool and one of the first major motion pictures to be shot entirely digitally. I'm sure Anna Log would throw a fit about that fact, but digital filmmaking technology really has made it possible for more people to express themselves in the motion picture format without the enormous overhead of studios and things (which may have been part of George Lucas's whole goal…idk). Oh, and the weirdness of the romance fits, because Anakin and Padmé's romance is forbidden and doomed. Sure, none of the dialogue is Shakespeare, but it sounds like Star Wars, which can't be claimed by the dialogue of certain movies made in years that don't have fun glasses associated with them…

If none of that is persuasive, I think it's almost definitely the movie with the most abs, and you know me…I am Pro-Abs! Padmé has at least two crop-toppy outfits in this movie (though one was only cropped courtesy of a Nexu). That's way more than the other Star Warses have—even counting Episode VI—and I think that's great. I don't know if it really lends artistic credibility to the movie, but I don't care! I'm a fictional character, and I'll have whatever opinions I want.

(An opinion I'm not sure about, however, is whether or not Padmé should have worn crop tops after she got knocked up in Episode III…If she had, could that have kept Anakin from turning to the Dark Side? Or, maybe he would have turned even faster…Who knows!…You do get to see Anakin's abs in Episode III, though, so I like that…Anakin also gets really hot in that movie towards the end.)

With all that being said, if you agree that Star Wars: Episode II – Attack of the Clones is awesome, then yay! You're great, and we can be friends. If you hate it and/or think I'm stupid for liking it, then you can go fuck yourself.