Do you have a vast collection of bits of yarn that you can't necessarily make into anything? Did you find my sweater in this issue AMAZING (albeit seasonally inappropriate)? Do you want your own crop-top sweater like it? Well, you're in luck, 'cause it's REAL! (See the picture below). Now, I'm gonna give you the pattern to make your own Libby's Stash Sweater!!! Read on to see the glory of this amazing article of clothing that really shouldn't be worn in the summertime!
First of all, you don't need to worry if you don't have the same stuff that I do, because this pattern is gonna work with pretty much any yarn using any needles. (I've also worked with Brian's mom on this pattern, so that it works for 3-dimensional people as well as drawings.) Even so, you still need supplies and some measurements, so here's that info:
(BTW, everything is in inches, because it is. You just have to accept this. Google can do unit conversions if you want it in cubits or something.)
Once you've gotten all that stuff together, you can start getting ready to start making the sweater. First, you should knit a swatch with using your yarn and your larger set of needles. Don't make it too big, but make it big enough that you can determine how many stitches there are per inch (or cubit). This number will be your gauge, and you should probably write that down, even if you think you've got a brilliant memory, because let's face it, we're all idiots. If we're being honest gauge should really be pronounced like "GOWDGE," right? Anyway, from that gauge value, you can do some simple multiplication to determine how many stitches you'll need to make around the circumferences of your neck, chest, and wrists. Now that you've done some über-basic math, you're ready to start knitting for realzies!
(This bit will have less commentary, because it's technical, and technical knitting jokes are hard to write.)
And voilà! You now have a pretty awesome sweater, just like mine (except not)! From reading all of this, you can probably tell that this can fit pretty-much any person you want. Maybe not a baby, but that's okay. Babies get enough sweaters, and all they do is puke on them. Also, while I, personally, advocate for bare midriffs, it's okay if you don't want that. You could make the sweater go down to your toes if you want. (At that point, though, I think it might be more of a weird dress/tunic thing…) The world is your oyster! Just decide what you want to do and then do it. All I ask is that nobody demand another knitting pattern from me any time soon. Making and writing this was fun, but it's not something I want to do all the time. Next time, let's have a comic that's nice and stupid and doesn't have anything important or educational about it. Maybe I'll make out with a Goa'uld* from Stargate?! You'll just have to tune in next week and see!
* Brian informs me that it is the Tok'ra who generally transfer their snaky worm things via kissing, and the Tok'ra don't like being called Goa'ulds. Personally, I think they're all fictional characters, and as a fictional character myself, I say they can go fall in a pit for all I care.